Are you a stress eater?  Is food your go-to thing when you feel tired, bored stressed, underappreciated, or burnt out?  If so, you’re not alone.  I know that you have things together most of the time.   However, there are days when you don’t have the willpower, self-control, or reserves to do much more than eat your favorite comfort food when you feel stressed.

So, why am I bringing this up?  Well, while food can calm you in the short term, after an episode of stress eating (or binge eating), the problems are still there.  Furthermore, you are likely to feel more stressed, defeated, and frustrated after you’ve wiped that last cookie crumb from your chin or licked the orange Cheetos dust from your fingers.  Sigh. No judgment.  I’ve been there.

So, what’s the solution?  Well, there isn’t a quick fix for stress eating.  However, identifying the type of stress eater that you are can help you to better identify your weaknesses and help you find realistic solutions. And, please remember that there is always an emotional trigger for stress eating.  Thus, the focus should really be on why you eat rather than what to eat instead.

So, what type of stress eater are you?

Let’s Celebrate Eater

The Let’s Celebrate Eater finds an excuse to celebrate any occasion with food.  Angela’s “love language” is food.  She looks for an excuse to bake, cook, or buy food for a  “special occasion.” And, those “special occasions” include Homemade Cookies Mondays, Banana Bread Wednesdays, and Fudge Brownie Fridays.  Well, the big issue is that Angela does not know how to celebrate any occasion without food.  In fact, being in a good mood is enough to trigger an emotional eating episode.  Yes, that’s a thing.  While some people overeat when they are sad or mad, Angela eats when she is happy.  She says things like:

• “Eating brings me joy.”  
• “Life is too short not to enjoy good food.”
• “I bake when I’m stressed, and it brings a little bit of sunshine to others.”
• “When people think of happy times, they think of me.”
• “I went to a promotion party for a coworker, and they just had a vegetable tray and a cheese plate. Who celebrates with cheese? I should have planned that party.”

Her Motto:  “Life’s too short, so eat dessert first.”

The Solution: Angela needs to find other ways to celebrate than with food.  She also needs to understand that she often pressures and guilt others to eat with her. 

Unfulfilled and Undervalued Eater

The Unfulfilled and Undervalued Eater is the epitome of frustration.  Toni feels stuck in a job where she is not given the opportunity to advance. Instead, she sees her lesser qualified coworkers climb the ladder without looking back.  Toni also feels undervalued in her relationships and is often taken for granted.  So, she eats to fill a void. And, she stress eats on her favorite foods—premium ice cream and really nice chocolates. She says things like:

• “I work for a jerk.”
• “My partner has not taken me out on a real date in a while.”
• “No one ever thanks me.”
• “I can’t seem to make progress no matter how hard I try.”
• “I am the only one caring for my elderly mother while my siblings barely help.”
• “My kids take me for granted.”
• Add your own . . .

Her Motto: “I deserve it.” “I’ll throw my own damn party.”

The Solution: Toni needs to find other ways to feel fulfilled and meet her needs other than eating.  She also needs to develop a regular self-care routine.

Mad as Hell Eater

The Mad as Hell Eater is angry, agitated, and frustrated.  Benita does not back down from an argument.  She believes that it is her job to educate people and set them straight.  While she occasionally has bursts of rage, she mostly lets her emotions linger and fester.  Mad as hell eaters crave crunchy and crispy foods.  Thus, Benita’s bag of potato chips and a bowl of nuts is not too far away when she gets into a “Twitter fit.”  She says things like:

• “I have a short fuse, and I get pissed off easily.” 
• “Nobody’s going to fool me again.”
• “I have trust issues.”
• “You haven’t seen drama until you’ve been to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving.”
• “Keep looking over your shoulders because I am going to get you.”
• “I honk my horn at those fools who stop at the yellow light.”

Her Motto: “You can’t make me.”  “I’ll show you.”

The Solution:  No amount of bubble baths will calm Benita down when she is angry.  To release the pressure and anger, Benita needs to express herself by calling a trusted friend to vent, going for a walk, or journaling all of her feelings.

Blessed but Still Stressed Eater

The Blessed but Still Stressed Eater is at the top of her career game and making things happen.  Callie started a consulting company two years ago, and she is booked solid with clients for the next year.  The kids are doing well in school, and she could not ask for a more supportive husband. However, a heavy travel schedule, 12-hour workdays, and an active family life leave little time for self-care.  For now, Callie is still at a healthy weight, but she is on medication for her high blood pressure.  However, it is normal for her to multi-task while shoveling food into her mouth.  She says things like:

• “Most of my meals are eaten in the car or at my desk.“
• “I start my mornings with a green smoothie and a promise to eat better.”
• “Stop telling me that I have no reason to complain.”
• “Many people envy my life but don’t know the sacrifices I make.”
• “I have a hard time saying no, which means that I have too much on my plate.”
• “No one in my family has been this successful, and I can’t let them down.”

Her Motto: “Stress is a little price you pay for success.”

The Solution: Callie needs to put herself on her calendar and schedule time for self-care.  For example, she needs to schedule short breaks to stretch and eat.  Additionally, a daily yoga, Zumba, or spin cycle class will lower stress.  Finally, an aromatherapy diffuser with a blend of stress-reducing blend needs to be used daily.

Sad and Grieving Eater

The Sad or Grieving Eater eats when things are really tough or when she needs to be cheered up.  Lela broke up with Kevin a few weeks ago.  Waves of sadness wash over her when she thinks of how she “wasted” the last five years with him.  Lela is approaching her 35^th birthday and the thought of not getting married or having children makes her feel hopeless.  On top of that, she is still grieving the loss of her mom to breast cancer a few months ago.   So, on the weekends, she cooks (and eats) some of her mom’s favorite recipes.  And, a few nights a week, she dives into a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream.  She says things like:

• “I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again.”
• “My mom was my best friend and confidant, and I miss her so much.”
• “I should have left him a long time ago, but I invested so much.”
• “My comfort foods make me feel safe and secure.”

Her Motto: “I don’t think I can get through this.”  “My chance for happiness is gone.”

The Solution:  Sadness and grief are parts of the human experience.  However, it is possible that Lela’s grief and sadness may turn into clinical depression.  She should talk to a trusted friend, a spiritual adviser, and/or a therapist to help her deal with this tough part of her life.  Journal writing can help her process her emotions and exercising can improve her moods.  She also can find healthy ways to honor and celebrate her mother’s life.

Bored Out of My Mind Eater

The Bored Out of My Mind Eater is one of the most common types of stress eaters.  Vee eats to pass the time.  Her purse and desk drawers are filled with snacks and treats—just in case.  So, she eats at her desk, in the car, while watching TV, and even at the gym.  Yes, Vee has protein bars in her gym bag “in case her energy level drops” while exercising.   It is also not uncommon for her to stand and stare into the refrigerator or pantry for the right snack to “jump out at her.”  The fact is Vee pays little attention to what she eats and isn’t aware when she’s full.  She says things like:

• “I get bored easily, so I eat to pass the time.”
• “There is a section in the pantry where I store my snacks, and the kids know better than to touch my stuff.”
• “You never know when you will have a long wait or lag in your schedule, so carry something with you.”
• “My mom always carried snacks with her just in case she needed to calm us down or shut us up.”

Her Motto: “It’s best to be prepared.”  “You never know when you’ll get hungry.”

The Solution: Vee needs to find other ways to distract and entertain herself other than with food.  She should stock the pantry and the refrigerator with healthy options, and she should limit herself to one healthy snack a day.  Vee also fidgets a lot and needs to use a fidget toy or hobby that uses her hands. 

Food is My Best Friend Eater

The Food is My Best Friend Eater can also be called a lonely eater.  Although Kim moved to a new city a year ago, she has little personal interaction with people outside of work.  Additionally, she still has not found a home church.  Due to the pandemic, Kim has been socially distancing and working from home, and her feelings of loneliness and isolation are at an all-time high.  So, she eats to fill her loneliness. Unlike the bored eater who may have an active social life, the lonely eater craves love, intimacy, and friendship.  She says things like:

• “I don’t have many friends.”
• “You can’t trust people, so I am happy being by myself.”
• “No one invites me out to eat, and I haven’t been on a date in a long time.”
• “I have friends on social media, but I just lurk and never comment.”

Her Motto: “Friendship is overrated.” “Food is always there for me.”

The Solution: Connecting with other people fills a basic need for companionship and feeling part of a community.  Not only can loneliness trigger stress eating, but it is also a strong predictor of binge eating. Kim has to be intentional about connecting with people and being resilient, even if she gets rejected.  The bottom line is that food can never fill an empty heart.

Drop-Dead Tired Eater

The Drop-Dead Tired Eater is often the “superwoman” that other women admire.  Sherri is a recent widow with two children in college.  She is spread thin with commuting to work, working long hours, volunteering with church and community organizations, and being president of the local chapter of her sorority.   Sherri usually skips breakfast, and a coffee cup seems to be permanently attached to her hand.  On most days, she orders take-out meals for lunch and dinner.  She usually eats dinner after 8 pm and finishes it off with dessert.  Sherrie has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep.  She says things like:

• “I get a high from being busy.”
• “People know they can count on me to get it done, and done right.”
• “I’ve tried delegating, but they keep coming back to me.”
• “I’m always tired, but it’s a good tired because I know that I’m making a difference in my community.”

Her Motto: “They need me, or things will fall apart.” “I come from a long line of strong, hard-working women.” 

The Solution:  Sherrie needs some serious self-care in all of its fullness.  Her view of self-care is limited to getting her hair and nails done, with the occasional massage.   She is physically and emotionally drained, and her body craves rest and sleep.  Lack of sleep and poor sleep quality are linked to lack of willpower, increased appetite, and weight gain.  Sherrie needs to learn to delegate and reconsider some of her volunteer activities.

Sure, I’ll Have a Slice Eater

The Sure, I’ll Have a Slice Eater is essentially a people pleaser.  Roxie has a hard time saying “no” when she is offered food.  Even though she is trying to lose 15 pounds, she finds it difficult to bypass snacks in the lunchroom at work or turn down lunch or happy-hour invitations.  Although Roxie loves to socialize, she struggles to be assertive and gets stressed when she attends parties, family gatherings, church potlucks, etc. because she does not want to draw attention to the fact that she is trying to lose weight.  When the call goes out for pizza or cheesecake, Roxie’s hand goes up first.  She says things like:

• “I find myself saying “yes” even when I feel full.”
• “Who says no to free food?”
• “Going out to eat or drink is a way to fit in.”
• “I can get my diet back on track tomorrow.”  

Her Motto: “I don’t want to be rude.”  “It’s important for people to know that I am spontaneous and willing to hang out.” 

The Solution: Roxie needs to draw healthy boundaries and learn to say “no.”  She also needs to be honest with others about trying to lose weight and recruit them to be part of her support team.  It’s not just about choosing healthier options but also choosing to say “no” to food.

Now, It’s Your Turn

Well, I hope you now feel a bit more educated in identifying your type of stress eating.  It’s unlikely that you will fall exactly into any one category.  In fact, you may engage in different types of stress eating from time to time.  However, realizing what triggers your stress eating or emotional eating is a necessary first step. I think you will also enjoy the blog posts on how to curb your stress eating and setting smart weight management goals.   

1. Which type of stress eater are you?
2. Do you fit into more than one category? If so, which ones?
3. Think of two ways to manage stress instead of food this week.

Well, we look forward to hearing about your experience in the comment section of this blog.  And, you can join the conversation on the Keep It Tight Sisters Page.

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