“I AM who I AM Because of You.”

I love my big sister, Patsy.  I mean I really LOVE her.  That love is an all-encompassing quilt with patches of respect, wonder, amazement, comfort, resilience, humility, tenderness, honesty, and vulnerability.

Patsy is the main caretaker for my elderly parents. Dad has Alzheimer’s and mom is a cancer survivor.  She also owns a business and is a Pathfinders counselor.  Patsy is the glue that holds our family together.  She is the head of my cheerleading squad and my prayer team.  I remember a time in my life when I knew I needed to pray but I couldn’t. But, I had the assurance that Patsy was standing in the gap praying for me at 5:30 am. Everyday. Just like our mom taught us.

Patsy is the only person who can shush me!  And, she only has to do it once.  Yes, she can shush the bossy, know-it-all little sister with a PhD.  She has also perfected mom’s side eye look that will stop me talking mid-sentence.  And, sometimes I need that.  I need her to listen to me, love me, laugh with me, and hold me accountable.  When I’m not being my best she holds me accountable.  When I get discouraged and stop trying, she holds me accountable.  My sister’s love heals me and brings out the best in me.

At first glance, Patsy may seem like a pushover.  She is soft-spoken and friendly.  I often see people taking advantage of her, but she looks on it as an opportunity to show love and kindness. The people I would call trifling, Patsy would call “in need of grace.” But, when she’s done with you, it’s over.  Do not cross her.  She will forgive you, but she will cut you off.

Helping me to Become a Warrior Woman

Patsy helped me to love the ocean and overcome my fear of the water.  Patsy is a Pieces and she claims the ocean as her playground.  As a little girl, I sat on the sand with my mother and the other old women who could not swim.  I wore glasses and the ocean looked like a blurry mass of water when I took them off.  I was afraid of the water because my mother, grandmother, and aunts were afraid of the water.  Somehow, that fear did not transfer to Patsy.  The ocean was her playground and she owned it.

Patsy would coax me to get closer to water.  Eventually she got me into the water and would repeatedly say, “It’s OK. I’ve got you.”  I eventually learned to swim.  My fear of the water came back when I was in my early teens and my cousin, Keithroy, drowned.  My twin cousins, Keithroy and Kenneth, were born the same week as Patsy.  Mom said it was like having triplets in the family especially since we all lived on the same street.  Eventually, I was back at the beach every time I could.  Patsy upped the beach game and bought me snorkeling gear when I was in graduate school.  Years later, she taught me to kayak.

I return home a few times a year to visit family and help care for my parents.  And, the big question of the day usually is, “Which beach are we going to today?”  We go at dawn, sunset, or whenever.  We walk, collect rocks, and swim.  We laugh when we see people running out of the water when it rains.

The ocean is my happy place.  When I look out at the ocean, I see the horizon in the distance, and I know that my fears will be conquered, and my dreams will be fulfilled.

Thanks, Sis.

Now, It’s Your Turn

1. How has your sister influenced the woman you are today? If you don’t have a sister, how has a close female relative influenced your life?
2. Who is the woman in your life that holds you accountable?
3. How can you cheer on and help another sister on her journey today?

We look forward to hearing from you. And, you can join the conversation on the Keep It Tight Sisters Facebook Page.  We also have many self-care boards for you to follow on Pinterest.

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Keep It Tight Sisters

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