Waiting Well. . .Insights and Strategies

Waiting well.  This must be one of the most difficult things to do in life.  And, while we know that we must wait and need to wait on many things, we just absolutely hate to do it.  However, how we wait and get through the difficulties of life are important for our emotional and mental health. 

Furthermore, waiting reveals our character and the areas in which we need to grow.  And, I believe that waiting well can bring us joy, peace, and gratitude—regardless of the issue.

Waiting Well on the Small Things Prepares Us for the Big Things

Well, on any given day, we wait on “small things” to happen.  And, waiting on small things to happen, teaches us valuable lessons.   Or, they can if we choose to learn from them.    

So, some of the “small things” that we often wait on do not always bring out the best in us.  For example:

• Waiting in traffic (pressing on the horn or offering blessings with a hand salute)
• Dealing with slow internet (refresh, wait 5 seconds, refresh)
• Reheating coffee in the microwave (30 seconds feel really long at times)
• Toasting bread (my eggs are getting cold, and this would not happen if I went gluten-free)
• Being put on hold for a phone call (hang up after 10 seconds, redial, repeat)

Okay, I can hear you judging me, but you know you have your own issues.  Anyway, here is something we all can agree on, waiting well on small things teach us how to wait well on big things.  And, if you don’t learn the lessons from the small things, you will continue to be impatient, frustrated, and miserable.

Well, what are the “big things” that many of us are waiting on, hoping for, or praying about?  They often include:

• Healing from an illness
• Waiting to get pregnant or start a family
• Getting a job promotion or advancement
• Waiting for an intimate relationship to work in our favor
• Getting good grades in a class
• Having enough money to take care of our responsibilities
• Surviving or leaving a toxic workplace
• Waiting for your boss or supervisor to leave

So, let’s talk about our attitudes, feelings, and emotions while we wait on the big things to happen.

How We Usually Wait

I think you will agree with me when I say that we usually don’t wait well.  So, what do we usually do while we wait? 

From my experience, while we wait, we worry, wallow, and grow weary.  Additionally, we ask, “Why?” “When?” and “What now?

Worry

So, our waiting is often accompanied with worry.  And, worry hates to come alone, so, it brings along its friends doubt, fear, and anxiety.  These usually manifest themselves as:

• Sleeping difficulties (can’t fall asleep, won’t stay asleep, or sleeping too much)
• Numbing the pain and feeling (too much food, alcohol, sex, TV, work, etc.)
• Going on social media constantly for updates, likes, shares, and comments 
• Checking emails obsessively
• Talking constantly about the problem
• Rehearsing everything that could go wrong in your mind

Well, I think that we can agree that worrying will not make the answer come quicker or make the outcome what we desire.  So, here is what I do to prevent myself from worrying too much:

• Set aside a specific amount of time to worry and have a pity party
• For example, do it for 10 minutes between 7:00 pm and 7:10 pm.  Set the alarm on your phone, and when the alarm goes off, then, worry time is over
• Answer the questions, “What am I afraid of?” I got this idea from Oprah, who says that she asks herself this every day.  Write the answers in your journal.  After I write the list, I ask, “How will worrying solve this problem or make the answer come quicker?” And, you know what? I never have a good answer for that question
• Then, I repeat this activity as often as I need to during the day

Wallow

We love to throw pity parties and wallow in our disappointment, grief, and pain.  So, let me walk you through what I do to prevent myself from wallowing too much:

• Set aside a specific amount of time to worry and have a pity party
• For example, do it for 10 minutes between 7:00 pm and 7:10 pm 
• Set the alarm on your phone
• Cry, curse, swear, and complain all you want
• When the alarm goes off, your worry and wallow time is over
• However, I repeat this 10-minute activity as often as I need to during the day

Now, you probably noticed that I gave an example of wallowing for 10 minutes.  So, if you’re saying, “Dee, I need a couple of days to wallow, or, maybe even a couple of weeks.”  Hmm.  If so, then you probably need to talk with someone (friend, counselor, spiritual advisor, etc.) who can help you get through this really rough patch. 

However, my point about the time limit is to not let it consume you or discourage you. Press on.

Why Is This Happening to Me?

Well, it seems like we believe that life (or God) owes us an explanation when things don’t go the way we like.  And, isn’t it interesting that we only ask “why” when “undesirable” or “bad things” happen to us?

“Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?” Job 2: 10 NLT

When Is This Going to be Over?

So, after worrying, wallowing, and asking why, we sigh and say, “OK, fine.  When is this going to be over?”  Well, maybe it will be tomorrow, next month, or next year.  Or, maybe it will never be resolved the way you want it to. Long sigh.

Learning to Wait Well

So, I believe that the key to waiting well is understanding that you are not waiting on human beings.  Well, let me put this another way.  Your promotion that you’re waiting on will not come from your boss.  The toxic workplace will not suddenly get tolerant and civilized because of the human resources (HR) department.  And, the cure for your illness will not come from your doctor.

It all boils down to this.  You are waiting on God.  Yes, you are waiting on the Creator of the universe, the all-knowing, and all-powerful God to move at the right time and in the right way.  And, neither you nor anyone else can change that.

Now, you don’t want to miss the next part.  I have decided to wait expectantly.  In other words, I will choose daily to be positive and expect that whatever the outcome, it will be for my good.  And, I’m not lying, this is easier said than done.  However, I know that waiting well will bring me peace in the midst of the turmoil and uncertainty.

Well, I can almost hear you thinking, “Dee, so how do you wait well?”  So, in total surrender, I strive to do four things while I wait well—worship, word (read), work, and walk.  Now, I don’t always succeed, and I do have my pity parties.  However, I always come back to these four things when my soul needs rest.

Worship

I know that worship probably means different things to me than it does to you.  For me, worshiping means getting out of my head and my own way, and acknowledging that I was lovingly created by a God who loves me.  I was created for a purpose.  And, even when I am not sure of the purpose, nevertheless, I worship and praise God.

Have you ever thought of your car as a chapel?  Well, I do.  When I drive in the morning, I listen to inspirational music to create the right mood to get me ready for the day.  And, on my way home, I have the right playlist to release my frustration or to celebrate a win.  Don’t get me wrong, I know what is going on in the world.  I read several newspapers and watch the news every day.  But, my commute is sacred time and my car is a living sanctuary.  Likewise, rather than always listening to music, I sing along with the music.  Or, I turn off the music and just lift my voice to God because there is the promise of putting a new song in my mouth.

Prayer is also vital to worship.  And, writing my prayers come more naturally than actually praying out loud.  I write prayers and poems in my journal.  I also include things for which I am thankful.  However, more and more, that I hear the voice of God saying, “Dee, call out my name.” “Call out my name.” “I like when you write my name but I want you to say my name as often as you can.” And, then my faltering voice gets stronger as I say:

• Jesus
• Wonderful Counselor
• Provider
• Burden Bearer
• Jehovah
• Strong Tower
• Good Father
• Wise Mother
• . . .

Word

I love to read, and I read one or two books a week.  And, I read more than 40 books each summer.  I read a lot.

I read the Bible every day for wisdom, strength, comfort, and assurance.  And, I like to write out passages and put my name there.  Additionally, I write out promises that can I use and share with others.

“This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” Psalms 91:2 NLT

And, while I read the Bible and other devotional readings daily to help me with waiting well, I get inspired and sharpen my mind by reading:

• Biographies (people’s stories of failures, victories, and winding journeys)
• Fiction (there is a way to relate the plot to real life)
• Self-help (work on my issues and get out of my own way)
• Business and entrepreneur (think outside the box, hone my craft)
• Humor and Comics (laughter is good while waiting)

One of my guilty pleasures is listening to audio books! I have a subscription to audio books and I also check out a few each month online from my public library. And, the spoken word is indeed mightier than the sword. So, instead of falling asleep in front of the TV, I fall asleep listening to the audio Bible or another audio book.

“So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” Romans 10:17 NLT

Work

While you wait, it is important that you show up and work.  And, not just showing up, but showing up with a good attitude and working hard.  Why? Well, you need to always be prepared as you wait expectantly.  And, when those doors or windows open, you need to be in good shape to run or squeeze through them. 

I looked in the dictionary and found that another definition for waiting is “serving.” Isn’t that a great perspective?  So, while you wait for yours to arrive, you serve.  Why? Well, there is a(n):

• Young colleague that needs mentoring
• Older colleague that needs encouragement
• Co-worker who needs words of comfort after a breast cancer diagnosis
• Elderly neighbor who needs a visit
• Teenager struggling with fitting in at school

“Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” Ephesians 6:7 NLT

Walk

I use walking as a meditative practice.  Ideally, I take two 15-minutes breaks a day to walk.  When my eyes are tired from the computer and I can’t concentrate, it’s time for me to get up from my computer and walk.  A meditative walk relieves stress and connects my mind and body.   

When I walk, I pay attention to what and who are around me.  I notice squirrels searching for food, neighbors walking dogs, and birds chirping.  Additionally, I make sure to wave and smile to people along the way.

And, please don’t miss this. I do not listen to music when I walk.  So, I am not trying to tune out what is around me.  In fact, I intentionally tune in to my surroundings.

Additionally, when I walk, I may pray or repeat a Psalm or affirmation.  And recently, I make more of an effort to just say “thank you” for the people in my life, the things I have, and the circumstances that help me to grow.

Now, It’s Your Turn

Waiting is a part of life, and life is difficult. But, how we wait and get through the difficulties of life are important.  In fact, waiting well requires us to lean into it daily.  But the good news is, we get better at it.  Waiting is one of the many ways that God teaches me, refines me, and develops my faith.  I pray that you use your difficult times to wait well. 

I think you will also enjoy the blog post on box breathing to calm and energize you, a grateful pause, and maybe it’s time to just be.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how good are you at waiting?
2. Which one of these habits do you need to work on while you wait?
   1. Worrying
   2. Wallowing
   3. Asking why
   4. Asking when
3. Which one of the strategies for waiting well do you plan on mastering?
   1. Worshiping continually
   2. Wording (reading and listening)
   3. Working hard
   4. Waking it through

Well, we look forward to hearing about your experience in the comment section of this blog.  And, you can join the conversation on the Keep It Tight Sisters Facebook Page.

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