African American woman smiling at the tablet

Weight loss is a dirty word.  So, I give you permission to cuss a little, roll your eyes, suck your teeth, and let out a long sigh. 

The thought of losing weight or going on another diet causes anxiety, stress, and feelings of failure.  However, it is the number one thing that women ask me about as a registered dietitian nutritionist.  Additionally, weight loss and dieting are among the top health searches on the internet. 

So, I am so glad that you are still reading this article.  And, I am excited that you are ready to start (or get back on) your journey of losing weight or maintaining a healthy weight. 

So, here we are.  You, me, and a terrific group of sisters.  I will not give you a diet plan or false promises of losing 10 pounds in a week.  However, over a series of post on weight loss, I will give you some tools, strategies, and reality checks that will help you to be successful.

Weight loss success is not about being on the “right” diet

Key to Weight Loss Success

“I’m just too weak and can’t stay motivated to lose weight,”  said Melissa.  “Furthermore, I’ve tried so many diets, and nothing works for me.”  I nodded.  I’ve been there and had similar thoughts. 

But, Sisters, I am happy to tell you that your previous lack of success has less to do with you, and more to do with not having the right tools and mindset.  To put it another way, you did not know how to diet.  

Yes, you know about dieting and starving yourself. However, you do not know how to handle temptations, cravings, stress eating, and hunger.

It’s not about finding the right diet!

So, it is not about the “right diet.”  Yes, you will need to exercise and control what you eat and how much you eat. However, the key is having the right tools and having the courage to use them consistently. 

Understand What Really Makes You Eat

Black woman eating pizza
Eating is never automatic

“My eating is out of control,” Melissa sighed. “I just can’t control it. It’s like I am on automatic.”  Have you ever felt like Melissa?  Well, eating is never automatic.  Really.

The issue is that you decide to eat.  It may “feel” automatic.  However, you choose to eat.  Hey, this is not about blaming yourself.  I want you to understand how to better control your decision to eat.  And, truthfully, you won’t always be successful.  However, you will win the battle more often.

You always have a thought before you eat or drink something!

Sometimes your eating feels automatic, however, you always have a thought before you eat.  If you struggle with compulsive eating, the thought sometimes happen so quickly that it seems automatic.  For example, there is a bowl of candy or a plate of warm cookies in a waiting room, and you automatically grab a few. 

Why did you do that? 

You might say, “They were free.” “The cookies smelled so good.” “I’ve already been bad today and a few pieces of candy won’t hurt.” 

Did you have a choice?  Yes, you did. Always. 

Again, no need to beat up yourself.  However, if you keep falling into these little traps, losing weight becomes harder and harder.

So, instead of grabbing a few of the warm cookies, pause and breathe.  Say to yourself something like, “Wow, those cookies are tempting, and I really want one.  However, I really want to lose weight, and the few bites of pleasure is not worth me going off of my plan.” 

And, go a step further and write out a few possible responses.  Practice your responses and you will make better choices when tempted.  

Young Black woman with donut in one hand
Food can never fill an empty heart

Understand That You’re Hungry But Not For Food

Most of us sometimes struggle with knowing the difference between being hungry and wanting to eat.  And, that is a big reason why weight loss is difficult.

Let’s be honest.  There are times when your stomach is full and even uncomfortable.  Yet, you still have a strong desire to eat.  Sometimes you win the battle and tell yourself, “Girlfriend, you just ate ten minutes ago, and you’re not going to get anything else.  So, just deal with it.”

However, more often than not, you give in.  Even though your stomach is full, you order dessert, stand in front of the refrigerator, or go to your hidden stash of cookies, M&Ms, and chips.  Oh, and if things are really bad, you may get a spoon and hit the peanut butter jar really hard.  

But, why is that?  

Pause and think about it. 

Why do you stuff ourselves with more food, when you know that you’re full?  Well, you are actually hungry, but not for food!  It all boils down to this.  You use food to soothe yourself when you are feeling lonely, sad, rejected, unloved, unlovable, and bored.  And, food can never fill an empty heart or an empty bed!

To be successful at weight loss, you must learn to tell the difference between hunger and the desire to eat.  And, the best part is that when you learn this, you will be able to consistently stop eating when you’re full.

A table with snacks and junk food
Understand your triggers for successful weight loss

Anticipate What Will Trigger Your Overeating

Weight loss is challenging because we don’t understand or plan for triggers.  Eating always begin with a trigger.  You have biological triggers like hunger and thirst.  So, what’s the catch if it is a biological trigger?  Well, the problem is that if you starve ourselves or skip meals, you are likely to overeat when you are naturally hungry.  Furthermore, this sets you up for a vicious cycle where you skip meals, get hungry, and overeat. Repeat.

Now, pay attention to this point.  Thirst is another biological trigger.  You often eat when you’re thirsty because you think you’re hungry! So, know the difference between thirst and hunger.  Furthermore, try this.  If you think you’re hungry or feel hungry, drink a glass of water and wait five minutes.  Chances are your hunger will go away and you will also be more hydrated.

Many people eat when they are thirsty because they think they are hungry!

You are also very susceptible to environmental triggers.  For example, do you often feel hungry when you:

  • Smell food cooking or baking? 
  • See a TV commercial for pizza, fried chicken, or hamburger? 
  • Go to the grocery store right after work?

Uh hmm.

Additionally, you have mental triggers.  For example, you remember the good food at the family reunion, imagine the meal in the book you’re reading, or recall being scolded for stealing a cookie.  Well, all of these images (positive or negative) can trigger you to eat.

Emotional triggers are also very familiar.  These are usually negative feelings like boredom, loneliness, anxiety, frustration, and sadness. However, feeling happy can also trigger you to celebrate with food.

Finally, there are social triggers.  And, here’s the interesting thing.  You eat when you see others eating.  Or, others pressure you to eat.  And, because we are social beings, we often go with the flow and the empty promise that tomorrow will be different.  So, what’s the solution?  Well, you may have to change who you hang out with or overeat or drink with.  Seriously. 

Stop Fooling Yourself About How Much You Eat

Weight loss is difficult when you’re not honest with yourself.  And, you must be honest about how much you eat.  Actually, it may be better to say that you often underestimate how much you eat.  

To lose weight and keep it off, you must understand the difference between a “serving” and a “portion.” This was discussed in a previous blog post.  So, to recap, a “portion” is the amount that you choose to eat at any one time, which may be more or less than a recommended serving. 

A large bag of chips while watching TV?  That’s a portion.  A double cheeseburger with large fries while driving home from work? That’s a portion.  A handful of M&Ms while you work at your desk?  Well, you get the idea. . .

However, a “serving” is the amount of food recommended for a particular food group.  For example, ½ cup of ice cream or 15 potato chips. Hey, don’t hate me. I’m just telling you like it is.

So, let me break this down a little more.  You need to know serving sizes and measure your food.  No more eating out of packages.  Put a serving of the food on a plate and pour the drink in a glass.  And, no more “fistfuls” of this or that when you write in your food journal.  So, go ahead and just write that you had 25 M&Ms. 

Don’t stop reading now.  Understand that “what gets measured, gets managed.”  That means that you can better manage your weight when you measure how much you eat. 

What gets measured, gets managed

Black woman writing in a journal

Write Out the Advantages of Weight Loss

So, why do you want to lose weight or maintain a healthy weight?  While this may sound like an easy question, it really requires you to dig deep and think about your health in the long run.  Well, the first thing that comes to mind is probably “I want to look good.” And, that is a perfectly good reason.

But, Sisters, your weight really matters.  I am not talking about getting skinny but getting to a weight that will help you reduce your risk for certain diseases and improve your chances of having a great quality of life—not just for you, but for your family.  So, while it is great that you want to look good, also think about the long-term health consequences of being overweight and obese.  They include:

  • High blood pressure
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Stroke
  • Sleeping problems
  • Arthritis
  • Gall bladder disease
  • Reproductive issues
  • Some types of cancer
  • Chronic fatigue and tiredness

Overweight and obesity also affect you psychologically and some emotionally.  You are more at risk for:

  • Depression
  • Unhappiness
  • Stress
  • Compulsive overeating or stress eating
  • Low self-esteem

So, an essential tool for weight loss is to write out the reasons why you want to lose weight.  You can write these on a note card or type the list on your phone.  Here’s the reason why this is important.  Reading this list several times a day helps to change your mindset and overcome sabotaging thoughts and negative thinking.  Looking at your list will motivate you to eat healthy, handle your cravings, get back on track after a binge eating episode, and keep your exercise routine on track.

On a previous post on why your size matters, Melissa wrote 5 reasons for her to lose weight.  She updated her list and added 5 more reasons.  Look at her list to get some ideas for your list. 

Melissa’s List for Weight Loss

  1. Look great
  2. Feel better about myself
  3. Avoid diabetes
  4. Control high blood pressure
  5. Sleep better
  6. Be a great model for my children
  7. Like myself more
  8. Fit into all my great outfits that are too small
  9. Feel more in control
  10. Inspire others

Please don’t underestimate the importance of this simple tool.  It will not solve all of your problems, but it will center and motivate you.

Now, It’s Your Turn

Well, I hope you feel more confident and educated about how to plan for weight loss success.  I will present some other tools in future blog posts.  Additionally, I think you will also enjoy the blog post on why your weight matters and how to set SMART weight management goals.  

  1. Write out 5 to 10 reasons why you want to lose weight or get to a healthy weight.  Read the list several times a day.
  2. Practice 2 ways that you will talk back to yourself when you are tempted to overeat or go off of your eating plan.

Well, we look forward to hearing about your experience in the comment section of this blog.  And, you can join the conversation on the Keep It Tight Sisters Facebook Group.

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Keep It Tight Sisters.

Eat. Move. Breathe.

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