Shadow work prompts are excellent tools for improving self-awareness and nurturing self-love.  Indeed, they also help you to heal and grow after experiencing adverse events and trauma. 

Many people find value and comfort in exploring and discovering their shadow selves.  For example, consistently practicing shadow work helps us to:

• Learn self-acceptance
• Draw healthy boundaries
• Choose healthy coping strategies
• Forgive ourselves and others
• Practice better self-care
• Seek and accept help, including professional help

This article introduces the concept of shadow work. Most importantly, it provides numerous shadow work journal prompts to help you learn, grow, and heal.

What Is Shadow Work?

Shadow work refers to the act of working through and forgiving your inner shadow.  Of course, the next logical question is, “what’s my shadow?”  Swiss psychologist Carl Jung advanced the idea that our personality has a shadow or darker side.  Not surprisingly, our ego doesn’t identify with our darker side.  Thus, shadow work helps to connect the unconscious side of yourself to your conscious awareness. Essentially, it all boils down to this–you have to face the person in the mirror.

While there are negative traits to our darker side, these traits can also have positive benefits.  For example, impulsivity can lead to risk-taking and getting us out of our comfort zones.

So, what are examples of these shadow traits that sometimes rear their heads? Well, some of these traits include being:

• Untruthful
• Envious
• Jealous
• Controlling
• Impulsive
• Compulsive
• Manipulative
• Unscrupulous
• Angry
• Arrogant
• Egotistical
• Intolerant
• Demeaning
• Codependent
• Obsessed with appearance
• Critical
• Judgmental  
• Defensive
• Stubborn
• Overly competitive
• Xenophobic

Some people develop these traits because of past childhood trauma, generational trauma, and other negative experiences.  However, others developed them due to growing up in, living in, and adapting to society’s attitudes, energies, and values.

Notably, modern-day shadow work focuses on having us intentionally explore these shadow traits. Next, we work on accepting these parts of ourselves, forgiving ourselves for them, working through past trauma, and growing and healing from them.

Read Prayers for Healing and Strength: A 30-Day Journal to Stop Emotional Eating, Stress Eating, and Binge Eating.

What Are Shadow Work Prompts?

Shadow work involves a lot of journal writing. Undoubtedly, journal prompts are one of the best tools for doing shadow healing.  In a previous post, I discussed the importance of journal writing. To recap, journal writing helps to:

1. Record and reflect on important life events
2. Chart goals and progress
3. Clear the mind and improve focus
4. Improve mental health

The words of William Wordsworth sum up the importance of journaling, “Fill your paper with the breathing of your heart.”

“Fill your paper with the breathing of your heart.”

William Wordsworth

Shadow work journal prompts are questions that help you focus on what to write. Undeniably, writing is a healing tool that brings greater focus and clarity to the issue at hand. Furthermore, journaling with shadow work prompts complement your mental health medication, therapy sessions, or group meetings.

Specifically, the prompts help you to take a deep dive into the not-so-small things that cause you to:

• Worry
• Procrastinate
• Harm yourself
• Lash out at others
• Neglect self-care
• Self-sabotage

Shadow Work Prompts for Relationships

Healthy relationships with others enhance the quality of our lives. Of course, you will not be best friends with everyone. When a relationship goes well, we blossom and grow as we give and take. However, the reverse is also true. When a relationship turns terrible or becomes unhealthy, it also causes immeasurable pain.  These shadow work questions help you to explore ways to have more meaningful and healthy relationships with others.

Journaling Prompts

1. Describe the type of intimate relationship you want with a spouse or partner. On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate the current level of intimacy? Why did you give it that rating? What needs to happen for it to move closer to a 10? What can you do to move it closer to a 10?
2. How close are you to your immediate family members?  List 2-3 family members that you are closest to. Why are you close to them?  List 2-3 family members that you try to avoid at all costs. Why do you feel that way about them?
3. What is the most hurtful thing that you have done to someone? Why did you do it? Does it still bother you? Have you asked that person for forgiveness? If not, why not?
4. Has your relationship with your parents and siblings strengthened, fallen apart, or remained the same over the past few years? Make three separate lists for relationships that have strengthened, fallen apart, and remained the same. Write a brief reason for this next to the name of each person.
5. Make a list of what you like the most about your spouse or partner. Next, make a list of the things that you dislike about them. You need to remember that these are the same qualities you have but may not be aware of. Does your partner do anything to encourage these positive traits? Explain how.
6. Which friends in your life do you feel the most comfortable with? Describe how they motivate you to be true to yourself.
7. When was the last time that you said something mean or rude to someone?  What triggered the behavior?  Did you apologize for how you behaved?  If not, why not?
8. Is there someone at work or in your social circle with whom you feel the need to put on a mask to get along well?  In what ways do you pretend?  What would happen to that relationship if you were more comfortable being yourself? 
9. Some people in your life are mean to you or say nasty things about you.  Additionally, there are others who ignore you or are indifferent to you.  How do you react when you are around them?  How do you treat them?
10. Sometimes you are mean to others or say unkind things to them or about them.  Why do you do this? When was the last time that you did this?  How did you feel afterward? Why or why not?
11. Make a list of the big wins you had last week. How did you celebrate? Who did you tell?
12. Make a list of the big wins you had last week. How did you celebrate? Who did you tell? Do you have a tendency to dismiss your small wins? If so, why?
13. Describe a time when someone broke a promise. How did it make you feel? Does it still bother you? If so, why?
14. Describe a time when someone betrayed a confidence or a secret. How did it make you feel? Does it still bother you? If so, why?
15. What lies have you told your spouse or partner about yourself, your family, or your childhood? Why did you do it? Did you go back and confess that lie? Why or why not?

Read It’s Our Time: A Call-and-Response Journal of Women’s Voices

Shadow Work Prompts for Healing and Forgiveness

One of the biggest goals of shadow work is to heal and forgive your shadow traits. Indeed, the practice helps you to accept yourself, minimize the less desirable traits, give the courage to forgive yourself and others, and live a happier life. Of course, change does not take place overnight. Undoubtedly, you will need to dig deep at times and allow yourself to heal over time. However, we encourage you to recognize and celebrate your progress along the way.

Journaling Prompts

1. When are you hardest on yourself? Why do you think that is? How has it affected you personally and professionally?
2. How did your emotions/feelings work against you this week? Which specific emotion(s) affected you? Do you usually take time to reflect and process these emotions at the end of the day?
3. Write about a time when you messed up and hurt someone. Did you apologize? Did you ask to be forgiven? How did the person react?
4. What are your most significant areas of resistance? How long have you struggled in these areas? What triggers your resistance?
5. List the areas in your life where you feel stuck or are not making progress. How long have you felt this way? What needs to happen for you to make progress?
6. Do you often find yourself overthinking what you’ve said or how you’ve acted? What usually triggers this?
7. What is the most hurtful thing that you have done to yourself? Why did you do it? Does it still bother you? Have you forgiven yourself? If not, why not?
8. Write about one person who hurt you, but you have never forgiven. What happened? Why did you not forgive them? How has this event affected you going forward? Do you think you could forgive them now? How did you move on from this event?
9. What tends to trigger envy for you? Why do you think this is?
10. How do you react to criticism? Was there an element of truth in the criticism? Have you ever thanked someone for their criticism? Why or why not?
11. What is the biggest lie you consistently tell yourself? How does it make you feel? How long have you been lying to yourself about this?
12. What is the most hurtful thing that you have done to someone? Why did you do it? Does it still bother you? Have you asked that person for forgiveness? If not, why not?
13. Describe a time when someone broke a promise. How did it make you feel? Does it still bother you? If so, why?
14. How did you process negative emotions as a child and as a teenager? How do you process negative emotions now? What has changed over time?
15. Who do you harbor resentment towards the most? Why do you resent them? How long have you felt this way? Write a short note as a first step to let go of the resentment.

Inner Child Shadow Work Prompts

We all have an inner child, and connecting with and healing that child is essential to shadow work. Our inner child is a part of ourselves that has been present since our existence. Notably, it is a part of our subconscious mind that absorbs and attempts to process our emotions and events. Moreover, our inner remembers everything. Our inner child helps us to:

• Remember beautiful experiences
• Express love
• Be joyful
• Creative
• Have fun

However, it also remembers our fears, loss, and trauma. Additionally, it doesn’t have the tools or capacity to help us deal with these adverse events healthily or productively. So, inner child shadow work is not just for people who experienced childhood trauma. Some people who experience childhood trauma require therapy to begin the healing process. However, we can all benefit from being mindful of how our childhood experiences affect us today. Without question, shadow work prompts increase self-awareness, nurture your inner child, and make peace with who you are.

Journaling Prompts

1. Describe your inner child in detail (age, gender, clothes, hairstyle, personality, etc.)
2. What characteristics or traits did you have as a child that you still have? Which traits did you enjoy having but eventually outgrew it? At what age did you grow out of it? Was there something that triggered it?
3. What parts of your childhood are you embarrassed or ashamed about?  Do you try to hide them from others? Why or why not?
4. Are there any behaviors that you were recently told were childish? How did it make you feel? Did you stop the behavior? Why or why not?
5. What’s one thing you wish you could change about your childhood? Why?
6. How were you taught as a child to handle negative emotions?
7. Where was your safe space as a child? Was it real or imaginary? What about that space made you feel safe? How does it make you feel remembering it? Do you have a similar space as an adult?
8. Write 5 things about your childhood for which you are grateful and why.
9. What are 3 encouraging things you would tell your younger self on the first day of kindergarten?
10. Write the names of 3 adults other than your parents that positively influenced you. What did you like about them? How did each one make you feel? Are you still close to them? Have you ever thanked them? If not, can you find an opportunity to do so?
11. What were the core values that you were taught as a child? Do you still have those core values? Why or why not?
12. Describe a time when someone broke a promise. How did it make you feel? Does it still bother you? If so, why?
13. What behavior did you get punished for most as a child? Why did you think you were punished? Do you still have that behavior? Why or why not?
14. Recall a time when someone disappointed you when you were growing up. What did they do? How do you feel about it now? Have you forgiven them?
15. What fun things did you enjoy as a child? Do you still do them? If not, why? Make some time this week to do a fun childhood activity.

Shadow Work Prompts for Self-Love and Self-Care

Self-love does not come easy for everyone.  In fact, I think that loving ourselves unconditionally is one of the hardest things to do.  Unfortunately, self-love gets even more difficult in a society where we often hustle and grind at the expense of our mental and physical selves.  

When we practice self-love, it means we have high regard for our health and well-being.  It’s not a narcissistic “me first all day and every day.” Instead, it is more of “a healthy, whole me is my best gift to myself, family, and the world.”   

Journaling Prompts

1. How would you rate your self-care routine on a scale of 1-10? Why did you give it that rating? What do you need to do to move it closer to a 10?
2. What areas of your self-care need improvement? Which areas do you consistently neglect? Why is that? What is your plan for improvement?
3. What self-care activities do you enjoy the most? Make some time to do more of these things this week.
4. When was the last time you said something mean or unkind to yourself? What triggered it? Go to a mirror and apologize to yourself. Now, give yourself a big hug.
5. What aspects of yourself would you like to improve? Why? Has anyone in your past ever made comments suggesting that you should change this? If so, how did this make you feel?
6. List 5 things that you like about yourself.
7. In what way(s) did you neglect or dishonored your body in the past week? Why did you think you dishonored your body? Is this recent a recent behavior, or has it been going on for a while?
8. What situations make you feel less than or not good enough? Why do you think this is?
9. How do you fill your time when you’re bored? Do those things help or hinder your self-care?
10. In what areas of your life do you need to draw more boundaries? List the names of individuals with whom you need to have healthier boundaries.
11. How well do you enforce your boundaries on a scale of 1-10? How do you enforce your boundaries?
12. Describe the last time someone crossed one of your boundaries. How do you feel when people overstep them? How did you react?
13. What does being “free” mean to you? How does being “free” feel? When was the last time you felt truly free?
14. Do you find it hard to forgive yourself? How often do you forgive yourself? What kind of things do you feel you need to be forgiven for? Why is this?
15. What negative emotions/feelings do you struggle with? Why do you think this is? What tends to trigger this?
16. What negative emotions/feelings do you feel comfortable sitting with? Why might this be? How do you process them?
17. What lies have you told people about yourself, your family, or your childhood? Why did you do it? Did you go back and confess that lie? Why or why not?
18. Describe your perfect self-care day.

Read It’s My Time: A Guided Journal for Deeper Self-Love

Shadow Work Prompts for Manifestation

Manifestation, or the laws of attraction, is based on the philosophy that you get back what you put out into the world.  We know our subconscious mind is affected by negative and positive thoughts, beliefs, and mindsets.  Well, people who practice manifestation believe that positive thoughts, beliefs, and mindsets attract them to the things they want most.

Shadow work helps you develop resiliency and a positive attitude. Indeed, shadow work prompts for manifestation help you to write down and visualize your thoughts, dreams, goals, and intentions.  Additionally, they help to challenge negative self-talk and shift your mind for success. Furthermore, this mind shift helps you gain self-awareness, clarity, and insights to take action to achieve your goals.

Journaling Prompts

1. What situations make you feel like an imposter? Why might that be?
2. Do you ever feel anxious, stressed, or scared when you think of the future?  What parts of the future scare you the most? How have those feelings prevented you from moving forward?
3. Write 3 of the worst character flaws a person can have.  Recall an instance when you exhibited any or all these behaviors.  What triggered them?  How do you plan on changing those behaviors? What have you done about it?
4. Recall a time when you had a big accomplishment, but no one complimented you or patted you on the back.  How did it make you feel?  How long did it make you feel that way?
5. Would others describe you as a people pleaser?  Is it an accurate description? How do you feel about being described as a people pleaser?
6. Recall the last time you felt let down. Who let you down? What was it about? How did it make you feel? Do you think the other person felt the same way? Do you think of it as a reflection of yourself or the other person?
7. Describe the type of intimate relationship you want with a spouse or partner. On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate the current level of intimacy? Why did you give it that rating? What needs to happen for it to move closer to a 10? What can you do to move it closer to a 10?
8. Recall a time when something you wanted did not work out well. How did it make you feel? Who did you talk to about it? How long did it take to get over the disappointment?
9. How generous are you with sharing information or ideas with a colleague? Describe the last time you did so.
10. Are you sometimes jealous or envious of a friend or colleague? Who is that person? Why do you think that is?
11. How do you want to feel when you wake up in the mornings?  What prevents you from having that type of morning?  Which habits do you need to start or stop for that type of morning? 
12. How do you want to feel when you go to bed and turn off the lights? What prevents you from having that type of evening?  Which habits do you need to start or stop for that type of evening? 
13. What is the biggest thing you want to accomplish in the next year? Why? What do you need to achieve this? What obstacles stand in your way? How do you plan to overcome the obstacles?
14. Describe your dream vacation. Who are you with? What activities do you plan on doing? How soon can you book that vacation?
15. List 5 things for which you are grateful.

Read Journaling for Manifestation: A Beginner’s Guide

Frequently Asked Questions about Shadow Work

What are the benefits of shadow work?

Many people find value and comfort in exploring and discovering their shadow selves.  Shadow work can help us to:

• Learn self-acceptance
• Draw healthy boundaries
• Choose healthy coping strategies
• Forgive ourselves and others
• Practice better self-care
• Seek and accept help, including professional help

What does shadow work mean spiritually?

Shadow work helps us to grow, heal, and forgive ourselves and others.  Many people use prayer, meditation, inspirational reading, and shadow work journaling in their religious and spiritual practice. While shadow work can be a part of your spiritual practice, it can also be a fantastic tool for self-care, self-love, and self-awareness.

Can shadow work replace therapy?

No, shadow work does not replace therapy or professional help. Many people need therapy to recover from past traumas and to move through other challenging areas of their lives. Many therapists recommend shadow work and often provide their clients with several shadow work prompts and exercises.

How do I use shadow work prompts?

Shadow work or journal prompts are questions that help you focus on what to write.  First, use a specific journal for your shadow work. Second, decide on the areas where you want to focus (e.g., self-care, relationships, inner child, healing, etc.)  Third, set aside 15-20 minutes to work through one question.  Fourth, be consistent.  Fifth, be gentle with yourself.

Is shadow work just journaling?

Journaling is an essential tool in shadow work.  There are many different types of journal writing.  However, shadow work is much more than journaling,  Many people use prayer, meditation, inspirational reading, and shadow work journaling in their religious and spiritual practice.

Do I need a special shadow work journal?

Yes and no. Yes, I believe you need a dedicated journal for shadow work so that you can track your progress. However, if you regularly journal, you can use shadow work prompts whenever necessary. Sometimes, you have to go with the flow. The goal is not to be too rigid.

Now, It’s Your Turn

Well, I hope that you’ve learned more about the importance of doing shadow work. Indeed, it takes consistency and courage to face your own shadow, learn self-acceptance, and become healthier and stronger.

The information in this post is not medical advice.  Furthermore, it does not replace or contradict the advice from your mental health counselor or therapist. Undoubtedly, shadow work prompts and journaling complement other mental health awareness practices.

I think you will enjoy reading the post on grounding meditation: 5 minutes to a calmer you, how to make a self-soothe box, the mental health benefits of walking outdoors, 55 powerful affirmations for health and healing, and journaling for manifestation.

We look forward to hearing about your experience with using shadow work prompts.  And you can join the conversation on the Keep It Tight Sisters Facebook Page.

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