A Grateful Pause

It’s 4:00 am, and I sit in the dark with a cup of tea listening to the rain.

Wondering. Yearning.

I am surrounded by everything that I need, want, and desire.

Yet, I feel both empty and full.

The emptiness signals that I need more. But, more of what? Certainly, not more stuff. Obviously, not more food.

The fullness signals that I have a full life, an abundant life.  But the fullness is uncomfortable.

I smile because I know that the emptiness and fullness are both blessings, and in this moment, there is only one thing that can satisfy both.

Gratitude.

What is gratitude?

Gratitude is a thoughtful, meaningful expression of thanks.  My vacation has taken me away from my morning rituals. I haven’t written in my gratitude journal in over a week.  I have said the automatic and polite “thank you,” but I need to go deeper.

I must express gratitude. 

In expressing gratitude, I acknowledge that life is good. There is always goodness around me.  There is goodness in me and there is goodness in you.

Today, I express gratitude for having both parents alive.  Mom celebrated her 91^st birthday last week.  She is a breast cancer survivor, a woman warrior, a lioness, and the embodiment of everything that is good. Dad will celebrate his 90^th birthday in a few months.  He is a prostate cancer survivor but is losing the battle to Alzheimer’s.  But his smile and laughter still bring a room to life.

I express gratitude to my siblings who take care of my parents at home.  A nursing home is not an option for us. Caregiving is difficult work and the blessings of having two elderly parents alive can feel heavy at times.

I can spend all day expressing my gratitude, but dawn is breaking, and I must greet the sun.

I am blessed.

I am grateful.

Reflect

Please share your experience in the comment section of this blog. Or you can join the conversation on the Keep It Tight Sisters Facebook Group.

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