Give Yourself Time and Love To Be Your Best

How often do you give yourself time in the day or week to focus on your own needs and well-being? Many of us are busy meeting deadlines, finding the right work-life balance, and caring for others.  Indeed, the struggle is real, and there are still only 24 hours in a day. 

What would your life look like if you took a little time each day to nourish your body, mind, and spirit?  Giving yourself time can be especially important if you feel overwhelmed or stressed. Taking time to care for yourself helps you recharge and refocus. In fact, it makes you more productive and efficient in the long run.

While self-care comes easy for some people, it is very difficult for some of us to prioritize ourselves and our health.   Furthermore,  how we perceive the importance of giving ourselves time is complicated by our culture, ethnicity, gender, financial status, social hierarchy, family background, and values. In this article, we explore ways to give yourself more time even with a hectic schedule. We also offer ways to give yourself time to grieve when you lose a loved one. And, of course, we have some awesome quotes and affirmations to help you live your best life.

What Does It Mean to Give Yourself Time?

Giving yourself time means intentionally setting aside time to focus on your own needs and well-being.  Indeed, you give yourself permission to get out of survival mode.  And when you shift our of survival mode, you give yourself time to flourish, thrive, bloom, and become your best. 

It is essential to remember that making time for yourself is not a luxury and is not selfish. Noyably, when you give yourself time to practice self-care and self-love regularly, you:

• Are more joyful
• Have a better work-life balance
• Are more productive
• Do things more efficiently
• Improve mental health
• Decrease stress and anxiety levels
• Process thoughts, feelings, and emotions in a calmer way
• Have better physical health
• Boost the immune system
• Lower the risk of getting sick often (colds, flu, etc.)
• Increase energy levels
• Have fewer aches and pains
• Sleep better

It’s also important to emphasize that giving yourself time does not mean:

• Catching up on chores
• Clearing your email inbox
• Checking everything off your to-do list
• Keeping up with friends and family on social media

Yes, those things are important, but they’re not the focus right now.

Who Needs to Give Themselves A Little More Time?

All women need to make time for self-care and self-love.  Indeed, giving yourself time to practice self-care is especially important if you fit into one of the following categories below.  

1. Moms, mothers, and mamas raising awesome humans (including teenagers).
2. Newly single women growing and healing through a breakup, divorce, or death of a partner.
3. Executive woman kicking butt in the workplace.
4. Women entrepreneurs working 12-hour days to get that business off the ground or to the next level.
5. College students working and going to school.
6. Teacher working two jobs to make ends meet.
7. Women struggling with health issues and holding on tightly to faith.
8. Doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals with that special healing touch.
9. Law enforcement officers, EMTs, and other first responders keeping us safe.
10. Caretaker of older parents or a family member with an illness or special need. 
11. Grandmothers babysitting grandchildren more often than they would like.
12. Women grieving the loss of a loved one.
13. Write your own . . .

By no means is the list below an exhaustive one.  However, these women came to mind as needing something a little extra.   

How to Give Time for Yourself With a Hectic Schedule

1. Ask for Help

You are responsible for expressing your needs and asking for help when you need it.  Indeed, no one wants to play guessing games.

Yes, asking for help reveals our vulnerabilities, and that’s a good thing.  More importantly, don’t wait until you’re at a breaking point to take time for yourself.

So, let your family, friends, and trusted coworker know when you need to take time for yourself.  Now, this is important.  You don’t have to explain what you need or plan to do.  Instead, be specific about how much time you need and what you want them to do.

2. Manage Your Guilt

Do you feel guilty when you do things just for yourself?  Many women struggle with this.  And it’s not just moms and caregivers.  Indeed, there are many people-pleasers who agonize unnecessarily over guilt.   

Don’t ignore your guilty feelings.  Instead, question yourself about it and find a way to process it.  Journaling about it does wonders for your mental health. As I stated in a previous post, journaling is good for my mental health because it gives me insights about myself. 

Read: Why Journaling Needs to Be At the Top of Your To-Do List

3. Put Self-Care On Your Calendar

Take out your calendar and plan your important tasks for the week.   I plan my work week down to the hour for each day on Sundays.  If this makes your skin itch, then do whatever works for you.  

Now, this is important.  Your calendar and to-do list must align with your week’s goals.  For example, if you plan to write a book, you need to have blocks of time to write.   In addition to meetings, work-related activities, and family events,  you must plan some self-care or “me-time” on the calendar.  For me, that includes writing in my journal daily, going to the gym several days a week, getting bi-monthly massages, weekly at-home facials while watching TV, and taking a short walk alone after lunch.

Read 9 Sunday Habits that Can Help You Have a Productive Week.

4. Prioritize Your Tasks

Take a few minutes to write down everything you need to do in a day or week. This will help you see your available time and where you can fit in some me-time.  Indeed,  everything on your to-do list is not equally important.  Indeed, many people use the Eisenhower Decision Matrix to prioritize and manage their tasks.  I would argue that self-care is one of your most important events.  So, find a system that helps you make the most of your limited time.

5. Break Tasks into Smaller Pieces

If you have a big project or an overwhelming task, break ity into smaller, more manageable chunks. For example, instead of working on it for four hours in one day, do it for two hours over two days.  Indeed, this process lowers our stress levels and gives us some flexible time to do other things. 

6. Find Small Pockets of Time

Self-care can be something other than an all-day thing.  Yes, I love spa days.  However, I do those a few times yearly, not monthly.  Look for small pockets of time throughout the day that you can use for self-care.  For example, I have a portable foot massage in my office.  I turn the lights off for 10-15 minutes and show my feet some love.  If you have a long commute on the bus or train, read a chapter or two of a book.  Indeed, you don’t need to wait for summer to catch up on your reading.  

7. Set Healthy and Realistic Boundaries

It is essential to have a sane work-life balance.  Undeniably, it is sometimes difficult to create a harmonious flow between work and life without losing our sanity.  Unfortunately, even the people and jobs we love can wreak havoc on our physical, emotional, and mental health. 

Here are 5 simple tips to remember when defining your boundaries and limits.   

1. Take some time to reflect on what’s working and not working for you.   
2. Write a list of your boundaries down.  Many people have a list of boundaries for different areas in their lives (e.g.,  work, family, and volunteer ). 
3. Notice how you feel when each boundary is crossed?  Pay special attention to if you react differently to different people.  This can help you to determine how firm your boundary needs to be.
4. Develop a communication plan and let others know what works or doesn’t work for you.  Indeed, people cannot read your mind.  Avoid lying, avoiding someone, or not returning texts or calls.  Practice communicating your needs in a calm, gentle, and firm manner.  
5. Be firm and consistent. Stick to your boundary, and don’t let others cross it.

Communicating your boundaries with your employer requires a difficult conversation. 

• Speak to your supervisor about what’s not working for you.
• Set a time when you will arrive and leave work, and stick to it.
• Turn off work notifications after hours and on weekends.
• Don’t check emails after hours and on weekends.

Obviously, these suggestions depend on the type of work you do.  Remember, your supervisor is not a mind reader, so you must communicate your availability and limitations.

8. Spend Time Alone Together with Loved Ones

Yes, you read that right.  This is one of the best-kept secrets of many introverts.  When friends and family love you unconditionally, they recognize your need for alone time. 

Who made up the rule that families must do everything together at home or when on vacation?  Indeed, your time alone with loved ones doesn’t always have to be completely alone.  

• Find a quiet place to read, journal, knit, solve a puzzle, etc., while others watch a movie.
• Plan a 1-hour family quiet time for everyone.
• Explore a museum alone while on vacation with other family members. 
• Go for a walk on the beach while others are sunbathing.
• Etc.

9. Say NO More Often

Get comfortable with saying no more often.  Obviously, there are times when you should say yes.  However, a hard NO is needed when you have a hectic schedule and little time for self-care.  Undeniably, saying no to tasks, requests, or favors that are not your priority gives you time for more important things.

As mentioned in a previous post, here are some polite and not-so-polite ways to say NO.

1. Not now
2. No thanks
3. Not happening
4. Nope
5. Nah
6. No way
7. Certainly not
8. Hell, no
9. By no means
10. You must be out of your mind
11. Momma didn’t raise a fool
12. I have already made plans
13. That doesn’t fit my schedule
14. It doesn’t work for me
15. I have other commitments
16. Being silent with a blank look

The bottom is that when you say no to someone else, you say yes to yourself.

Give Yourself Time Self-Care Ideas Under 30 Minutes

Here are a few quick ways to give yourself time in 30 minutes or less.

• Relieve tired feet with a foot massage machine
• Soak feet in Epsom salts and your favorite essential oil
• Exfoliate your hands and feet with a sugar or salt scrub
• Dry brush your body to exfoliate and stimulate lymphatic drainage
• Take a nap
• Go for a walk
• Make a healthy green smoothie
• Eat a healthy breakfast
• Write in your journal
• Do a steam facial
• Apply a face mask
• Refresh your eyes with a cool eye mask
• Stretch while watching TV
• Practice Kegel or pelvic floor exercises
• Do a chair barre workout
• Engage your core with a quick Pilates workout
• Ease back pain with an ice pack
• Read a book chapter or two
• Relax and color in your favorite adult coloring book
• Practice deep breathing
• Practice a grounding meditation
• Do a shower meditation
• Do a yoni massage
• Pray

Give Yourself Time and Space to Grieve

Do you need to give yourself time to grieve?  I do.

My family and I are in a season of grief.  My siblings and I lost both parents during the past year.  Additionally, we lost other family members and friends.  There is longevity on both sides of the family.  On the one hand, it means we enjoyed our parents, aunts, and uncles for several decades.  However, it also means that their deaths were so close to each other that we are still gasping for breath. 

Indeed, sometimes it’s hard to be present and live in the moment.  Here are a few questions that often run through my mind:

• How do I comfort my cousins with the loss of my aunt or uncle while grieving my parents?
• What do I have to give those in front of me when parts of me feel missing?
• How do I greet the day with excitement while saying a long goodbye?
• Is it OK that I still haven’t cried?

Undeniably, these are hard questions, and there are no right or wrong answers.  In fact, you may not have an answer any time soon. What’s important is that you:

• Extend grace to yourself.
• Don’t give yourself a deadline to grieve.
• Understand that grief is not linear.
• Reach out to others.
• Accept the love and support of others. 
• Practice self-care.
• Show self-love.

7 Things Not to Do While Giving Yourself Time to Grieve

Coping with the loss of a loved one affects us emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  While everyone copes and grieves differently, avoiding adding additional problems to your despair is important.  It’s important to give yourself time to grieve without:

• Giving yourself a deadline to heal.
• Self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, foods, or other unhealthy habits.
• Avoiding or hiding from the pain. 
• Shutting out friends and family.
• Blaming yourself for the person’s death.
• Living with regrets over what you should or should not have done.
• Making important life-changing decisions

Give Yourself Time Quotes to Make You More Joyful

1. “Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”— Hermann Hesse
2. “Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent.”— Billy Graham
3. “To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.” — Sandra Bierig
4. “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”— Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
5. “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”— Coco Chanel
6. “You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”— Eckhart Tolle
7. “We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”— Dolly Parton
8. “You are magnificent beyond measure, perfect in your imperfections, and wonderfully made.”— Abiola Abrams
9. “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”— Oscar Wilde
10. “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”— Jean Shinoda Bolen
11. “Keep good company, read good books, love good things, and cultivate soul and body as faithfully as you can.”— Louisa May Alcott
12. “Every small positive change we make in ourselves repays us in confidence in the future.”— Alice Walker
13. “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”— Martin Luther King Jr.
14. “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”— Rumi

Give Yourself Time Affirmations for Health and Happiness

1. I set healthy boundaries to protect my mental health.
2. I celebrate the progress that I have made.
3. My body knows what it needs to heal.  
4. It’s OK to ask for help.
5. My mental health matters.
6. I’ve got this.
7. I deserve to be healthy and happy.
8. It’s OK to make mistakes.
9. I trust in my ability to solve problems.
10. I trust my intuition.
11. Today is a great day to learn something new.
12. I have resources to help me.
13. Growth happens outside my comfort zone.
14. I am open to learning new things.
15. My attitude is everything.
16. I always give my best.
17. I build habits that help me succeed.
18. I nurture my soul daily.
19. My ancestors planted the seed, and I am the harvest.
20. I have a voice, and my voice matters.

Now, It’s Your Turn

After reading this article, I hope you identify ways to give yourself time and love to be at your best. Indeed, it is time to get out of survival mode and time to thrive and bloom. Undeniably, when you take time for yourself, you can better give to others.

• What are some small ways that you give yourself time during the day or week?
• Which of the ideas in this post will you try this week?

I think you will enjoy the posts on Sunday habts for a more productive week, Cheshire cat quotes to inspire women leaders, I AM affirmations to crush your goals, fierce quotes on being successful, and shadow work prompts to learn, heal, and grow.

We look forward to hearing about your experience with intermittent fasting.  And, you can join the conversation on the Keep It Tight Sisters Facebook Page.

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Keep It Tight, Sisters.

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